Ring Once For Sex, Twice For The Madam.......

I think I was more bothered by the thought of being locked inside that big iron gate than anything else but I rang twice and moments later a buzzer when off signaling me it was OK to enter so I did. When you first enter your in a small foyer and looking to either side there were glass display cases with all kinds of sex toys, lubes, condoms ,vibrators, strap ons almost any kind of sexual accoutrement you could ask for and just past that you came into a small bar area then into the parlor which was very nice and cozy it even had a large fireplace with a fire going.

Finally an older woman came up and ask if she could help me and I told her I was there to apply for the hostess position and I had an appointment with the madam so she led me past the parlor into a large dining area that had a full kitchen off to the right with a booking office next to it and she said to have a seat at the table she'd be right back and she was with a pile of papers for me to fill out. I remember thinking what a lot of paperwork for a simple hostess position but just as I was finishing filling everything out a very petite lady came out of the booking office and greeted me with a lilting British accent, "My name is Jan, I'm the Madam here at Miss Kitty's and I hear your interested in the position for hostess we have open?"

This wasn't what I had expected at all, this lady seemed like a very proper, reserved lady you might see at a tea party or country club gathering but she seemed out of place here but it was a pleasant surprise, I liked her right off, she put you at ease immediately, she was funny and spoke quite frankly and I remember thinking if someone like this lady could be the madam here then I could surely give the hostess job a try so when she ask if I could start tomorrow I said, "Of course, I can!" Then she went on to explain that I would have to go to the local sheriffs office and get a permit to work there, it would cost $50.00 and it was good for a year. This also surprised me but they are very strict about who can work in the sex industry, you can't have any felony's of any kind on your record ever, you can't get a sheriffs card if you've ever been convicted of any kind of theft or drug charge. They actually run an intensive background search on you before you are issued a card allowing you to work at a brothel, if you changed brothels you had to purchase a new card.

So when I showed up at 2:00 PM the next day for training the first thing they did was front me the $50.00 for the sheriffs card and send me to the Dayton Courthouse which had a substation for the sheriffs department. What they didn't do is warn me about the vicious bad attitude I was about to encounter there, the one who would decide if I was fit to work at a brothel in Nevada. Everyone who works in any position at a brothel must have a current sheriffs card on file this also includes the "working girls" and once you arrive at the sheriffs office you have to complete another large stack of paperwork. Now this female sheriff that issues the sheriffs cards for all the brothels in this county is worth mentioning, I don't know if her EX husband frequented the brothels while they were married or what but she had the attitude from hell and it would be many years before her and I finally got to the where I actually considered it a friendly working relationship. Everyone is entitled to having an off day or being a little bitchy from time to time but this woman had it down to an art form, I tried to find a photo of something that accurately projected her personality upon entering the sheriffs office and letting her know you where there to get a work permit, this was as close as I could get....

In my best interest since I still frequent that county let's just call her Kujo 'cause it fits and leave it at that, I almost didn't get my card. They ask on one of the forms if you've ever been arrested and I had been once but it was on false charges my ex husband had put against me, he did it because he knew I had no family or anyone who could bail me out so he had me arrested on a Friday night and him and his buddies had my house emptied and my property cleared off of anything of value by the time I was released the following Monday morning. But they were bogus charges which was proven in court and quite frankly I just kind of blocked it out of my mind otherwise I would have to hunt the bastard down and stare joyfully into his eyes as I choked all the life out of his pathetic worthless body. Anyway, back to the story, all of a sudden Kujo is in my face explaining that she can deny me a card because I failed to tell her about my arrest so I explained this to her and also let her know I was just going to be a hostess not a prostitute figuring she might stop snarling and growling at me. Didn't help a damn bit! I also had to be finger printed and guess who got to do it? Yep, Kujo!!! I had just done a french manicure the day before as I wanted to look professional as I was applying for work and since I'd been in construction this was a rare thing for me to do and it felt good to look at well manicured pretty nails. Didn't last long once I met Kujo, once she took my money she pointed to a doorway and as we entered she almost slammed me into the opposing wall like I was in a police line up, then she proceeded to take my mug shot for my sheriffs card and the the finger breaking, I mean finger printing with her it's all the same! Normally you only coat the finger tip on one side, the side with the prints in the ink but this lady was thorough, she managed to coat hands all the way to the first knuckle on both sides.... I was still furious by the time I got back to Miss Kitty's and when I made a remark to the Madam, Jan she just asked if she had drawn any blood and when I responded with a no, she said I should feel lucky I must have caught her on a good day!!!!! If that was a good day I never wanted to run into this woman on one of her bad days, the worst part is you have to remain calm and polite because she has the power to ensure you could never work in any industry requiring a sheriffs permit and here in Nevada that's almost everything. Eventually I would establish a friendly working relationship with this lady and we would even laugh and joke but that was years later.

Meanwhile, back at the brothel I was being shown around and told what was expected of you as a hostess and I was impressed by the size of the place and how well all the working girls for taken care of there. That first day I learned something that made me very glad I'd come to work for one of Dennis Hof's houses and that was that most brothels are called "lock down houses" which means that as a working girl once your inside you are there for the duration of whats normally a two or three week stay, as a working girl they are not allowed to leave the house other than to go to the sheriffs office for their work permit or to the doctor if they missed the doctors weekly visit to the house and they did this only with the houses chauffeur and under his constant supervision. The idea being to ensure the girls did not expose themselves to any type of STD's once they had been cleared by the doctor to work. Dennis owns two of the only brothels that are not "lock down" houses, the ladies were allowed to leave of their own volition as long as they weren't on shift, that made it where girls who lived locally could do their 12 hour shift and then go home or they were free to go out shopping or even just to a movie on their time off. I like this idea, the idea of a "lock down" house makes it seem more like a prison especially if your looking at that big iron gate when you say or think it!

I learned that my job consisted of watching the gate for approaching company and ringing the bell to get all the ladies working at that time up to the parlor and lined up so I could introduce to ladies to our prospective clients and they could choose a lady who would take them on what we called a complementary tour of the house at which time the client could explain what he was interested in and they could negotiate a price for the services that would be rendered during what we refer to as a "party", some of the guys wanted to go to the bar and have a drink or two first and they could choose a lady to accompany them or if they didn't choose a lady once they had their cocktails the ladies would approach them at the bar individually, one at a time hoping to convince the gentleman that she was the one he wanted. I always encouraged the clients to choose a lady even if it was just to go to the bar for a drink, if not I encouraged them once they had their cocktail to move to the parlor and socialize with the ladies, the parlor usually stayed a pretty lively place.

Dennis as well as Jan, the madam liked the ladies on shift to hang out in the parlor during their shifts and everyone but the maintenance staff worked 12 hour shifts. The staff worked 4 days on and 4 days off, I really loved that, 12 hours was a long time but once you got use to it, it was great having 4 days off. Some of the prostitutes would work straight through their stay there others would schedule a day off here and there with the madam and we had a few that lived locally and when home to families every night. I was nervous first about approaching the clients and how I would introduce myself and the ladies but after doing for awhile I finally felt comfortable with it and actually had fun with it. Now, when in line up and being introduced the ladies and I prefer to call them "ladies", rather than "prostitutes" or "hookers" were not allowed to do anything that might draw extra attention to them during this time they were to state their name while standing in an elegant pose. And I was also in charge of overseeing the behavior in the parlor making sure everyone was on their best behavior, no dirty hustling (I'll explain that term at a later time because brothel's also have a proper etiquette) and our ladies were truly ladies although scantily clad in the parlor most of the time, however on occasion a situation would arise where fur would fly and those long ass nails that most of them wore scratched something other than a client's back or grabbed at something other than a clients butt cheeks part of my job was also breaking those up and getting the parlor back to normal. Another time when I appreciated the fact that I was an Italian/Irish redheaded daughter of a longshoreman!!!! with too many brothers,lol I was also responsible for making sure everyone entering the brothel was of legal age and that anyone who had an alcoholic beverage was of age, you could come to the brothel and buy sexual favors if you were 18 or older but you couldn't have alcohol unless you are over 21. And on several occasions I had to remove a few that had had too much to drink, I always tried to be nice and polite about it and would usually suggest that I thought their money might be better spent when they were sober enough to enjoy and remember all the fun they would have on their visit there. One night I heard a girl screaming bloody murder from her room and I ran back there as quick as I could and it turned out this little old Hispanic man she was partying with had damn near bitten her nipple off and he was lit pretty well by this time so I ordered him to get his clothes on quickly, his party was over and as I followed him up the hall towards the entrance every time he slowed down a little I would hit him upside the back of his head with the lower part of my hand and it would speed his forward progress up, I had seen the girls nipple and the poor thing was bleeding and in tears and I could only imagine how much it must have hurt and every time I'd think of that poor girl I'd whack him again till he was out the gate. The girl ended up going to the emergency for a few stitches but this kind of thing is a very rare occurrence for the most part the clients were always on their better behavior and many of them were a lot of fun and a few regulars I even came to consider them not just clients but friends also.

Now, I think I mentioned that although this brothel was called Miss Kitty's it had been recently purchased by the self proclaimed America's Pimp, the infamous Dennis Hof and I had not met the man yet although I was working for him. Now Dennis is the type of man that is either loved or hated there's not much grey area in between and at that time all I knew of him was what I had seen on the news and read in the papers so I had really no idea what to expect in anticipation of our first meeting but I was curious about this man, his reputation preceded him.

Above on the left is Dennis Hof, Heidi Fleiss in the middle and the king of porn Mr. Ron Jeremy and I got a great story about the first time we met I can't wait to tell!

I would finally meet the man I worked for at Miss Kitty's annual Christmas party and I was quite impressed with the man at the time and I'll tell you all about it in my next installment of the Moonlite Monologues and I'll explain a lot more about brothel etiquette and I'll tell you about my favorite client and worst client during my days at Miss Kitty's and I'm even going to tell you about the "Hooker from Hell" and I'm sure she arrived there just as she was banished from hell by the devil himself........Yeah, Missy you know I'm talking about you........